Hard Work is Bad Management - How to Have Peace of Mind Without Doing Anything
All emotions have two sides. The person who seeks peace is always the most violent. The person who seeks love is always the most cruel. Emotionally, we think that repressing one "unlovable" half of ourselves that we have changed ourselves. It is really a lie.
There are those emotionally driven people who are addicted to people, places or substances that make them feel emotionally rewarded. They might be addicted to hard work, struggle, success, alcohol, or peace. But they are addicted because without those emotional triggers they fall.
There are those who are emotionally driven to evasion. They avoid certain people, certain places, certain emotions. And these people become prisoners of their own mindset. They are not free, they can only go, where certain emotions are not.
Hard work is bad management and the most disastrous work is emotional work. What causes people to be emotional at work is their ego. Their identity is so entrapped in what they are doing, they become the product of their work. Instead of a healthy person working on something, they become unhealthy person trying to be something.
The emotional person is always trying. The most emotional person is the person trying to get away from something and toward something else. The older the trauma the harder they run. So, extremely emotional, highly imprisoned people are running from very old drama and are aiming to get a long way into the future, to get over it (or away from it) but there's no place to hide.
The highly emotional person cannot be present. They are always trying to be present because this will create a new high emotion. So they can't just enjoy, they can only try to enjoy.
Love cannot be achieved. Love cannot come from trying. Highly emotional people are always trying to have, be or do love. But love cannot be done. We can give many things in this life; care, friendship, advice, compassion, kindness, and cruelty. But we cannot give love. Love is what exists before we do something. And love is what is left after we stop trying to do something.
To love a flower we do not need to pick it. We can love a flower because it awakens the love we already have inside us. The flower does not cause us to love, the flower awakens the love that is within us. Then, we might pick the flower because we want it to awaken more love within us. We want that flower near us all the time because it makes us smile and feel good about life.
The emotional person will have such a relationship. They will need their partner to awaken the love that is within them. Then they will attach themselves to that lover, because around that lover they feel love. They pick the flower thinking that the flower caused them to feel love. But they are wrong. The flower caused nothing. The flower is just a flower. However, the flower reminded them of something good inside and this is why they pick the flower. To remind them of what they already knew, and maybe make the hope of love a stronger dream.
The real lover does not need a flower. The real lover does not need to attach themselves to anything, because the real lover feels love without a reminder. The real lover is not interested in yesterdays good experiences, nor tomorrows because they know that memory is distortion and future dreams are distractions.
Real lovers love life. That means they know that tomorrow is today and yesterday is tomorrow. There is nowhere other than now and love is in their heart. They do not need a mirror to see their own reflection, they feel it in their heart right now. They do not see pimples and hair, or smiles and seductive clothes, the ego sees those things. The real lover sees in their minds eye, the mirror of their love. They see by feel, they feel to see.
Being a Yogi, a Buddhist, a Christian, a Jew, a Moslem; this is the ego, defining itself in the mirror of justice. The ego, is looking to be something, someone. The ego talks in terms of the "I" - like "I" am so happy, "I" am so peaceful. "I" am so sexy right now. You cannot have love with the ego of another person, because this ego is self determined. The ego can only emulate, imitate and hope for love.
Your ego cannot love another person because it's always worried about what is going to happen. Your ego remembers what happened before and therefore tries to prevent it happening again. So your ego is always looking for what it wants, getting what it wants and then finding out that what it has got is not what it wants. The ego is not at fault because that's what it is meant to be doing.
Some people abuse the ego. They say "oh, Chris, you are just being egotistical" and I say to them "der, like you aren't" I mean to say "who isn't" we are all clowns in the circus. Just some people do yoga or meditation or go to church and pretend they are better. That's the ego running the ship, the lunatic in charge of the asylum, the dog poop determining where you can walk. No, no, there is nothing wrong with ego. The problem only comes when you let the ego make decisions for you.
When the ego falls in love - this is lust. But, when real lovers fall in love there is emptiness. Nothing is there. It's a vacuum. All falling in love does to a real lover is to touch their home, awaken and remind them that they are really very loving already. It's disappointing really. Because romance suggests someone will come and change your life, but they only change your ego. You feel sexy, but really, this is not love, this is a mimickery.
Many people who fall in love, don't know how to love. Every one can fall in love. But very few people know how to love. Their ego jumps up and then falling in love and being in love are split up. That person is capable of jumping off a bungee jump, but they don't have a rope. They plunge to the bottom, and they quickly end up out of love.
Sex confuses love. Some egos can sustain the idea that love is there for a long time because the ego loves love. The ego loves to be loved so then sex is the perfect formulae. But this person is incapable of real love. Real love is an art that requires humility, it requires stupidity, it requires unconsciousness. Most people are too busy defending their ego to hold love for more than a few minutes. But they can change that.
Nature is love. Un natural is not love. Ego is not love. Love is not wanting. Forgetting. Can you forget? Can you just turn up as yourself? No fancy fashion? No cleavage to seduce? Can you just turn up filled with love and happiness and want to spread it? What if you were to find a simple statement that defined the opposite to the ego? Then maybe you could give the ego a rest whenever you wanted to have love in your heart.
To want for the happiness of others. Maybe this is the beginning of love. To want for the happiness of others. To give something up for the happiness of others, to do something different for the happiness of others. To silence yourself for the happiness of others. Then you will feel the ego in pain. Then you will know the conflict. To let the bad man be bad, so he can be happy? To let the lover go because you want them to be happy. To love someone so much that you let them be themselves instead of wanting to fix them. Love is natural, but its enemy is the righteous ego.
Try it for a day. Take loving kindness and know there are two sides to everything. Yours is just one of them. Loving kindness, gentle goodness, treat people as you wish them to become and create an awareness of that love that is inside of you. You don't need someone to trigger your love. You can trigger your love simply by looking for beauty everywhere. In nature, in people, in hardness, in softness. You can get beyond the walls of those prisons that emotional people create for themselves. You can liberate yourself from that emotional evasion, by becoming loving all the time. Lift yourself higher and higher. Grow to great heights. Evolve to love, move yourself by offering loving kindness to others.
This is the difference between the new age and the truth. Truth is that love is everywhere and you are the only possible blockage to it. New age will tell you to change in order to find love. But you never stop changing, and never find love for long, because emotion and love are opposites. Love is not an emotion, but most new age people think it is. Emotion is feel good, or feel bad. Love is both at once, and there is the answer to all questions. Both is love, not half.
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