sasalovesmsma

Obsession implies possession. We want it without regard for the consequences to us or anyone else. When love becomes an obsession it becomes pathological and a destroyer of the lover and his or her beloved. Love is without ownership. It is an end in itself practiced always and only in behalf of the other.
Outside of a few rare circumstances: a parents' effort for a young child, or an effort to assist in relieving pain, illness or an addiction where suffering has left no capacity too act. It is impossible to know what is best for the other.
A lover obsessed pretends to know what is best for his beloved only to serve his or her own interests. His proclamations to the contrary are folly and insincere. A beginning lover should cast obsession out as shameful weakness.
To practice love is to contemplate the needs and desires of the beloved; to study and watch, gently anticipating and offering. Over time and with great effort a lover may come to know something of what will make his beloved more perfectly herself. But, this is very advance study and requires intelligence, patience and a maturity that most of us can only aspire to obtain.
A lover accepts that he can never know what is best for his beloved and turns to contemplation. A lifetime study of his beloved, it is so little time to learn. What is it that she desires? What is it that I must do to be ready to fulfill those desires?
Longing that he will see, contemplation is the lover's prayer that he can find the way to make her dream a reality.
There are a number of other things a novice at love should know about how love works. They can be stated as a set of rules or helpful guidelines for those who dare to accept the challenge of learning about love. Behind each rule exists several thousand years of human experience with love captured in music, art, literature and sometimes modeled in noble men and women. Because love is the most profound and desirable of human experiences it would serve each of us to search out the rules and then study the experience and wisdom behind them. It is a fundamental of love that we can only be better for having dared to explore and understand the power of love.