10:42 AM - 
Addicted,Addicted to Love
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Addicted,Addicted to Love
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Addicted to Love
Love addiction is focused on love as the solution to inner pain,
loneliness and emptiness. In love addiction, the relationship or the need
for romance is all consuming. Nothing else in life has equal
importance.
loneliness and emptiness. In love addiction, the relationship or the need
for romance is all consuming. Nothing else in life has equal
importance.
The Love addict has very intense emotions including anger, fear, hate
and 'love' for the other person, and it is this extreme positive or
negative intensity that differentiates love addiction from habits
where we often also develop a craving for the object of desire.
and 'love' for the other person, and it is this extreme positive or
negative intensity that differentiates love addiction from habits
where we often also develop a craving for the object of desire.
An addiction usually affects and includes the body, emotions and
the mind.
the mind.
On the physical level, our brain indeed creates a chemical, PEA
that creates the thrill and excitement that we experience when we fall in
love. When this person drops out of our life the body produces
withdrawal symptoms such as shakiness, cramps or loss of appetite.
that creates the thrill and excitement that we experience when we fall in
love. When this person drops out of our life the body produces
withdrawal symptoms such as shakiness, cramps or loss of appetite.
We all may have experienced such symptoms at the loss of a loved one.
In case of love addiction, there is also a desperate need to regain
this person or relationship back, accompanied by an increasing
sense of guilt or shame about one's 'weakness' to let go of this person.
In case of love addiction, there is also a desperate need to regain
this person or relationship back, accompanied by an increasing
sense of guilt or shame about one's 'weakness' to let go of this person.
On an emotional-mental level, being in love makes most people
feel good. In case of love addiction, it creates a feeling of being 'on top
of the world', feeling drunken by love, being euphoric beyond any sense
of reality about the steps necessary to turn the attraction into a workable
relationship.
feel good. In case of love addiction, it creates a feeling of being 'on top
of the world', feeling drunken by love, being euphoric beyond any sense
of reality about the steps necessary to turn the attraction into a workable
relationship.
When these feelings fade away, the love addict will do anything to
regain this love even at the price to submerge their own personality into
the loved one by fully identifying with their interests and needs.
regain this love even at the price to submerge their own personality into
the loved one by fully identifying with their interests and needs.
In love addiction, the addict is often obsessed with finding the 'prince
or 'princess' that will be THE ONE FOREVER and solve all the
problems. Life without that love seems to be meaningless.
or 'princess' that will be THE ONE FOREVER and solve all the
problems. Life without that love seems to be meaningless.
The desperate need for finding that person or regaining a lost love can
destroy all other parts of life, create chaos, tension and anxieties and
threat life itself when chronic grief turns into suicidal thoughts.
destroy all other parts of life, create chaos, tension and anxieties and
threat life itself when chronic grief turns into suicidal thoughts.
Because love addiction gets supported through the ideal of romantic
love in movies and songs, it's actually quite difficult to crack the self-
delusion that is part of love addiction. All addictions have an element of denial but in case of love addiction it is more severe. Love addicts
often don't see the connection between their pain and suffering and the
illusionary quality of what they seek as love.
love in movies and songs, it's actually quite difficult to crack the self-
delusion that is part of love addiction. All addictions have an element of denial but in case of love addiction it is more severe. Love addicts
often don't see the connection between their pain and suffering and the
illusionary quality of what they seek as love.
The first step would be to recognise the love addiction as such
and then to take the necessary steps to fulfil all those needs that
have been delegated to THE ONE. This may require finding out
what you can do to be good to yourself, to love yourself and to
appreciate the good things in your life.
and then to take the necessary steps to fulfil all those needs that
have been delegated to THE ONE. This may require finding out
what you can do to be good to yourself, to love yourself and to
appreciate the good things in your life.
Another important step is to accept that you may be single for a long
time.
time.
Start to develop a wide variety of interests and activities, meet
people and make new friends. This will make your company more
pleasant, give you practice in developing social skills, and increase your
chances of finding a compatible partner to cope with everyday life.
people and make new friends. This will make your company more
pleasant, give you practice in developing social skills, and increase your
chances of finding a compatible partner to cope with everyday life.
With a good network of friends and acquaintances and exploring new
and interesting ways to share your life with them, the emptiness and
painful longing will fade away.
and interesting ways to share your life with them, the emptiness and
painful longing will fade away.
As love addiction is so deeply rooted, you may need extra help in
understanding the dynamics of love addiction and in shifting the
energetic patterns that hold the addiction in place so that you can
develop healthy relationship patterns and communication skills.
understanding the dynamics of love addiction and in shifting the
energetic patterns that hold the addiction in place so that you can
develop healthy relationship patterns and communication skills.
I offer a free course in how to develop healthy relationships, a
distance course on love where I shift those energetic patterns
through a broad range of healing modalities such as movement,
breathing, colour or sound and a book and the ebook Beyond
suffering where you will find a comprehensive description of the
different stages of love with its own qualities and challenges to give
you a broader view of the context of love addiction. You will also find a hands-on manual in this book on how to strengthen a
positive Self and move beyond this illusion of love
distance course on love where I shift those energetic patterns
through a broad range of healing modalities such as movement,
breathing, colour or sound and a book and the ebook Beyond
suffering where you will find a comprehensive description of the
different stages of love with its own qualities and challenges to give
you a broader view of the context of love addiction. You will also find a hands-on manual in this book on how to strengthen a
positive Self and move beyond this illusion of love
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